The Faith of a Mustard Seed
If you have been following my blog for a while, you know I struggle with anxiety. I am one of the most cautious people you will ever meet. I overthink things and I am very particular. I don't even like surprises because I always prefer to know what is around the corner (literally and figuratively). I am that much of a planner. Now, as a Christian, I know worrying is the exact antithesis of what I should be doing, but some of us are predisposed to worrying.
So, with that understanding of my struggles with worry, I would like to share my testimony and wisdom.
Every single time I’m in a bind and literally have no idea how I am going to resolve the issue, God delivers. In the most impossible situations, He delivers. I recently prayed for something I felt was a reasonable request. Admittedly, what I asked for was rather small in the grand scheme of life. I kid you not, the next day, I received something ten times better than what I requested. This happens to me all the time.
Why, as human beings, do we aim so low? The sky is truly the limit with Christ on our side. We see what He can do in our lives time and time again. Yet, many of us STILL set low goals and feel pleasantly surprised when God surpasses our every whim. As Christians, we know who He is, but many of us have trouble relinquishing control and living worry-free.
I propose, right here and now, that we all start living the life God has in store for us. In order to do so, we must have the bravery to trust that God gave us our gifts for a reason. How many of us are not in a career we are passionate about because we feel we should take the more practical choice? Now, I don’t know many of you personally, so I can’t tell you what you should or should not be doing every day. However, I can confidently say God shaped us all differently for a reason and you were fearfully and wonderfully made. That talent of yours is not meant to go to waste.
I feel as though many things in my life are just now starting to click and fall into place because I decided to stop trying to go on the path meant for someone else. As a creative person who grew up in the performing arts, I have always found it hard to relate to people who had no issues having a regular "9-5" job. Creatives are genuinely and truly on a different wavelength than the rest of the population. We feel suffocated doing the mundane work of a typical corporate job. The moment I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t and decided to go back to acting, I breathed a deep sigh of relief. The worrier in me has no choice, but to let go and let God work his magic. Ironically, as I have started to do that, things have started to fall into place far beyond my little prayers.
You want to know why things started to fall in line? It’s because God did not give me my talent so I could hoard it while I sit at a desk. He did not give me this passion for performing so I could stare at a computer screen in an office. I’ve always known this. I studied theatre at the University of Southern California and started taking acting classes in first grade. Nonetheless, as I got deeper into my twenties, I let society tell me I should be in a corporate job and do what “everyone else was doing.” I was afraid of the instability and uncertainty. But why do we allow the devil and society to tell us we aren’t good enough to live out our passions? I challenge us to end that mentality today and watch our seed grow. The Bible tells us:
“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 12:20 NLT
The question is no longer “how big are your goals?” But rather, “how big is your GOD?”